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| "Let's dress like twins for church!" |
Unfortunately, Friday dawned with a heaviness in my spirit ... the events of the previous day had tucked me into bed with a restless mind. Oh I tried to lay it all down, tried to set my mind on things above and tried to grasp His perfect peace that passes understanding. However, I awoke with a turmoil in my spirit. I grudgingly prepared breakfast and rushed out the door by 7:30 for a doctor appointment with Jedidiah. En route, he confessed something in attempt to make right the wrong. This was the issue causing my heaviness that had me questioning the validity of my love as a parent. My thoughts ... "If I only love him when he does good and obedient things, do I really love him at all? Why can't he just be obedient, unselfish and compliant?" These questions had my mind swirling with doubt, fear and uncertainty about my parenting and questioning my ability to fulfill The Call. As I stopped for gas, Johnny our gas attendant, whom I'm fairly certain is an angel, greeted me with his usual smile and affirmation. Upon seeing my tears, he quietly turned around and continued the fill up process. As he returned my card, he looked me straight in the eye and with a boldness and confidence in his spirit, he said, "Woman of God, He has a perfect plan for this and He has called you AND your family here!" Tears freeing my turmoiled spirit and Jedidiah's confession redirected our route to the doctor. Instead, I pulled to the roadside and asked him to talk about it. As my anger of said situation faded and sadness filled its place, we began to weep together for our hopeless humanness. His confession and explanation brought to reality some issues for both of us that go deep.
Fast forward 48 hours ... Adam's successful celebratory day of turning 6 safely tucked away in the scrapbook for another year ... and Father opens my heart to read from Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord will rejoice over you with singing." This comes in the context of Israel's choice to keep on sinning and Father's choice to forgive and love ... I picture in my mind one of those parenting moments of gazing upon His hopelessly human child with eyes full of compassion and a tenderness in His heart that no matter what, He loves them ... irregardless to their choice to sin. I mean, can you even imagine the intensity of those eyes? ... I would love to conclude this by saying I "rejoiced over Jedidiah with singing". Instead I'll conclude with this ... As I learn to keep my eyes on HIM, He's helping me to see through His eyes. Rejoicing in the journey ...
Confession ... Tears ... He's rejoicing over us!
Preparing, organizing and getting ready to receive our students back from outreach this week ... a few Doctor visits to get to the bottom of these colds ... Celebrating and rejoicing over these two mighty men ... Feeling His gaze and hearing Him sing over us!
Praises
Doctor Carla at Cedcas
Heart connections with our neighbors
Words of hope from Father delivered through human vessels
Prayers
We travel to PA for 2 weeks this Saturday, pray for health, strength and peace
Complete healing for my back and colds
Sound sleep as we prepare for things to continue here while we're away for two weeks
Remembering his decision 7 years ago and
celebrating his choice to follow The Giver of life!
Adam celebrating with his school friends! ...
So much energy and excitement over a
chocolate chip cookie cake!
Chocolate cupcakes, peanut butter icing and ...
His best buddies and partners in crime!
Thank you Grandparents! ...
Trucks and cars make his heart happy!
A rolling backpack and ...
Hand-me-down, camo, dress up, play set from Joseph ...
yup, it's 12 years old and almost good as new!
I would say that's a good Mennonite except that it's army fatigues!
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